“ If you are going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard" !. a funny Tea Towel is a quick and easy gift for a Birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day, ... any day really. Life is short... give that someone special the gift of laughter. From Aunt Martha's Dirty Laundry collection. 28 x 28 inch old-fashioned flour sack towel. Wash in warm water with like colors.